Tuesday, March 2, 2010

HT interview : The unedited version

1. Why are you - Gabbar Singh - on Twitter?

I remember sometime back, I was on a routine raid to Ramgarh. As we were closing in, I saw one of the dumb-arse villagers, fiddling with his hand-held gadget and some other dummies waiting for the first to finish. As soon as the first arse-wipe was done with tapping keys, the dummies pressed a button simultaneously on their respective phones. Few gunshots later and after close inspection of the devices, Saambha noticed that, one of them was tweeting "Bhaagoo! Daanku aaye" and the other zombies were waiting to Retweet it. Bah!

Only then I decided to restore some sanity to this place.

2. What agenda do you have on Twitter?

I am here to recruit. Saambha, Kaaliya and other sidekicks have long been kicked aside. Details about the job here :-
-You report to Gabbar himself,
-Free Grilled chicken at work,
-Health benefits - We give you a gun, as we believe. Attack is the best defense.
-We need to perform a back-ground check, making sure u at least have SOME criminal record.

Remember 37% of the tigers can save their arses themselves, and the rest 63% are already dead. Gabbar, my friends, is a Tiger. If you have an IQ of an Aalu bonda, and a sex appeal of shibu soren, believe you me, this is your Dream Job.

3. Being such a famous personality, why are you following so many people?

Ehe heh he! haha hahahaah! You remember the time, when there was a big question mark hanging over Basanti's izzat, and dhanno was galloping ahead like a slapped sreesanth, Who was following whom. Huh!
Gabbar follows. Gabbar loots. Gabbar haz grilled chicken. hell yeah!

4. On what criteria do you follow people?

Saambha tells me, people who insert the *four letter word* replacing the solitary vowel in it with another vowel of their taste, in every fourth tweet of theirs, are supposed to be uber-cool and follow-worthy. The Gadget pimps come second.

5. What do people message you on Twitter?

Holi related queries, people asking for my hand(s), (shush, go talk to Hari singh, my papa, *blushes*), Salt tasting confessions.(maine aapka nama khaya hai) and swearing their allegiance.

6. Which have been your favourite tweets so far?

* GabbarSingh was a visionary, he tried his level best to prevent Isha deol from happening.
* And I repeat, Only 1411 left, if only one of them was like woods, we'd have had a surplus.
* Kasab says- he and the other alleged gunmen planned to meet at Taj for a tweet-up!
* #secret I lent one of Thakur's hands to Ramu kaka, who uses it to wipe his arse, 'Just to set the record straight', so he says.
* Gabbar was pro-birth, why do you think he used to cut off men's hands?
* Tumhara ishq ISHQ, humara ishq fraandsheep request? #Damn

7. Thakur is not on Twitter. Does that piss you off?

Thakur on twitter, Gehehe! He tried holding a toothpick by his teeth and tapping on some keys, wanting to type some hindi cuss words to me. Bloody T9 was toggled ON. Hahaha!

8. Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Saleem-Javed faced such dire consequences for just showing me in a poor light in the movie, just have a look what kind of Aulaads they have got, A 'Veer' and the other writing for a movie on Gay Twins, yep, Karthik calling Karthick! *Awaak thoo*

9. Any message you want to give to your fans?

GabbarSingh was pro-British, just a tad more sinister, Brits jailed the Salt-Outlaws, he just bloody shot them, So my dear countrymen, never f**k with my salt, and we shall live in peace and prosperity.

P.S : From now on whatever Gabbar loots from you, can be filed under 80C. Rejoice. 100% tax benefit.

10. If you get a chance, hands would you want to cut off, from the Twitterati? :p

Your's, so that you never ever write an article more awesome than this, Let this be your very best. Gehehe! Amen!


  1. ek din huyi gawa konno comment naahi maarish

  2. Arey O Sambaa... Shit Samba ko toh humne kick aside kiya tha... Ab comments vasool karna kaun jayega!

    Nice post!!!

  3. This is complete awesomeness! Now to read it end to end.....

  4. wasn't it @gabbbarsingh and NOT @gabbarsingh? pliss to edit!

  5. Oye Gabbaroo! Jaisa ki Humau twitterwa pe bola tha interbooo to bahut hi mast hai.

    Ab eeaahan bhi aake commentwa kar diya.


  6. Sarkar, only one question!

    How do you explain 'Ramgarh ke Sholay'? That was THE FAIL!

  7. this is legendary stuff sarkaar.

  8. Ek Q hai: how do u explain RGV's Sholay?

  9. Full on funny man! Awesomeness